Mother’s driving always seems to make me sick

Everyone else on the road is either a bitch or a dick.

I think she’s driving out her aggression.

She doesn’t know she’s giving me indigestion!

I’ll need Pepto Bismal and a fat joint

If I’m going to make it to the next rest point.

Someone come save me via helicopter.

Or at least replace dad with a driving proctor.

I’m wearing pressure point bands on my wrists and singing a psalm.

But nothing will relax my aggressive mom.

There’s only one thing worse than my mom behind the wheel…

My father has taken over and I don’t know how to feel,

My heart is racing as we swerve in and out of lanes.

Sliding all over the back seat- I’m feeling new kinds of pains.

Short stop and go motions the entire way,

I’ll be lucky if I wake up to see my next day!