Q: A guy I was with just had sex with someone else. I thought we were exclusive but we weren’t dating. What can I do to get past this?
-Girl He Noticed the First Day of Class.
A: First off, you gotta make sure your mission statement is clear. When two people get in a “togerthership,” you’re both admitting to feelings but also admitting you’re afraid of moving forward. Unless you clearly state “I want to be exclusive,” or “I want a relationship, what do you want,” it’s kind of hard to adjust to the situation because you don’t have any walls to keep you in line.
Now to move on, it may sound extreme but you have to remember, this isn’t the one that’s gonna kill you. Now, that isn’t me saying just brush it off, because this clearly hurts and you are asking for advice from someone you never met, but keep in mind this all happened before you really got serious. So indulge in a little sadness, play your sad song, watch your feel good movie (mine is Nacho Libre) but don’t fall too deep into sadness. Remember, this was not your fault. It was specifically that idiot’s fault this all went down.
Q: I’ve been talking to a girl for three weeks or so and things have been really good. How do I take this to the next level?
-Guy In the On-Deck Circle of Love.
A: Mr. Guy, you are in the midst of something pretty special. This is the spot in a courtship where you feel like you have to be very specific in your actions, though this is true, don’t think too much. The worst thing you can do in this situation is overthink. I know this sounds confusing, but with that said, you should think about your next few moves. You can go for the direct route, which includes speaking to this lovely lady of yours and being very candid by saying, you do in fact want to take this to the next level.
Or you can send subtle messages. Not too subtle, though. This route isn’t as easy to advise because it’s all based on your current relationship with this girl. Basically if you choose the subtle route, you just have to do more than you were going before.