She Said

Question: I caught my boyfriend watching porn the other day. Should I be okay with this?

Hey, girls. So you want to know if it’s ok for your guy to watch porn? Man oh man, where do I begin? I think the first thing we should talk about is why it would bother you at all.

I would have to say that the top reason girls worry about their boyfriends watching porn comes from their insecurity over their bodies. Almost all of us want to change something about ourselves. We’re either too fat, too skinny, or our noses are too big. The list goes on and on. It definitely doesn’t help when porn stars have these amazing bodies and perfect faces. But think about it, your guy is with you because he thinks you’re amazing. If he watches porn once in a while, it’s not an insult to you. However, if he watches it all the time, even when you’re frequently having sex, then maybe he really isn’t all that into you after all. If that’s the case, then it’s something you should definitely talk to him about.

Also, several women equate watching porn with cheating. I can see where they are coming from, but they need to realize that their boyfriend is not actually having sex with these porn stars. In my honest opinion, these women need to learn to trust their significant other. Either their guy is truly untrustworthy, or the woman is really insecure. They also need to realize that, given the choice, many men would much rather have meaningful sex with their girlfriend over having sex with some porn star whose job is usually to fake it anyway.

Many girls may see the porn their boyfriend watches and think that the freaky stuff they do is all that he wants. Many girls will watch the porn their guy watches and think that in order for him to enjoy sex, it has to be purely physical. Sometimes, that’s ok and it really is what your guy is in the mood for. However, intimacy is an extremely important part of a relationship, so getting rid of it altogether is really not a good idea. Mature guys want intimacy too! I’m sure many of us know that guy who only talks about screwing and having one night stands, but there are plenty of guys who do want a serious relationship with a girl who they can share their thoughts and emotions with, even if they won’t admit it.

Some girls also have a moral problem with pornography. There’s nothing wrong with being a moral girl with "good values," but if your boyfriend is not like that, then maybe you’re not a good match. Also, what he does in his private time is really none of your business. It’s also none of his business if you choose to watch porn yourself! There is nothing wrong with it as long as it’s not excessive, and masturbation is healthy for girls too.

Look, men are known for being more visual and if they want to watch porn, then they have every right to. If he does feel close enough to share that with you, then be careful with your words. Realize that just because he watches it does not make him a bad person. Do not tell him you think he is disgusting or filthy. The fact that he watches porn is not a big deal, but what you say to him can haunt your relationship forever.