Possible Oswego State mascot a beacon for unintentional laughter

The designs for the new Oswego State mascot have been released, and to be perfectly blunt, we at The Oswegonian are a little concerned.

You have your nautically themed mascots up for suggestion, such as a ship captain, a sailor and a sea creature; along with your mascots based on Oswego’s notoriously frigid winter temperatures, including a penguin, a yeti-like beast and a snowman. Having that said, there’s no denying that these two themes are centered on Oswego’s two most defining characteristics. However, there is no excuse for the one mascot that appears to be pulling ahead in the running.

Take Mr. Peanut, remove his top hat, cane and monocle, make him into a phallic-shaped figure, and you’ve got yourself an anthropomorphic lighthouse. It’s too silly to be creepy, and yet too creepy to be silly. Words failed the whole staff when the .jpg file was opened; except, of course, for "wow…it looks like a penis with a condom on top for protection." Is the condom for protection from the winter winds? Is that the connection they’re trying to make us see?

There’s absolutely no way anyone attending any of the Oswego State sporting events will be able to ignore this distinction. Especially when it’s so glaringly obvious. Why don’t we just wheel it out of a Trojan horse?

You can’t have a giant male sex organ prancing around the field and not expect ridicule. It doesn’t matter how old you are; everyone in the bleachers will be laughing their heads off (no pun intended). We’ll become the laughing stock of our division. We understand that it is not the actual intention of the school to make us a laughing stock with a penis-shaped mascot, but let’s be honest: if this becomes our mascot, application rates may very well drop. Who would want to go to a school where a dancing penis was prancing around yelling "go team, go?" We know we wouldn’t.

Of all the mascot options presented, the yeti-like beast would probably place Oswego State in the most favorable light. The fact that it is reminiscent of the Syracuse Crunch’s mascot, along with its cool, wintry appearance, the beast embodies Oswego State in all its frigidly awesome glory.

The yeti-like beast also would suit Oswego State fans because it is not a gender specific creature, yet it is rugged enough to suit the males attending any competitive events. When competition is in the air, testosterone starts flowing and everyone gets hyped up for the win. As a result, a slightly more masculine mascot could better represent the fans, the players and the coaches to match the energy flowing throughout the venue.

If you want to handle the selection of a mascot democratically (or just an easy way to decide once and for all), they should be prepared to duke it out for the coveted role of Oswego State’s representative figure.

It’s important to have pride in your school, within reason. Therefore, a more appropriate mascot should be chosen in order to show we’re not a school of twelve-year-olds. U.S. News and World report named us one of the top "up and coming" schools. We at The Oswegonian believe it would be in our best interest to live up to that title and keep the illustrious trend going.

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