Gay isn’t personality, it’s sexuality

(Steven Radford | The Oswegonian)
(Steven Radford | The Oswegonian)

Gay guys are becoming very prevalent. The trend is for college-aged females and even some college-aged males to include at least one token gay guy in their social group.

Whether they are the black leather boots that help one climb the social ladder or the latest smart phone that is connecting one to new social atmospheres filled with gay pride, gay men are treated like the hottest fashion accessories and are used to make a statement.

The trend is mirrored in the movie “G.B.F.,” an acronym for gay best friend. The plot revolves around a gay student who is befriended by three potential prom queens who want to use him to advance their social interests.

Gay men apparently add diversity. As my best friend said when I came out to him, he now has a more well-rounded friend group. One little aspect of my identity, my sexuality, was big enough to forge a new perception in his head of who I am.

Gay men apparently have good fashion. After coming out to my straight, male friends, I began receiving questions on their clothing choices. “Does this shirt look good on me?” “What color looks better?” I was even asked: “am I cute?”

Gay men are apparently safe. Scrolling through Grindr, a gay-dating app, I noticed a college-aged woman who created a profile in search of a gay roommate. For most gay guys that I know, including myself, Grindr is the last app that we would use to find a roommate.

I find it disturbing that being gay can associate one with such a heavy stereotype. Gay is a sexuality, not a personality. Gay men can be just as closed-minded as straight men. Gay men can have terrible taste in clothes—“does this shade of blue go well with those purple pants?” And most of all, gay men can be dangerous!

Sexuality does not determine the value of an individual, nor does it determine the quality of their traits any more than race, gender or economic background. Do the gay community and me a favor—be our friend because you like us, not because we’re gay.