Don’t be ashamed to shame V-Day

Valentine’s Day is just lovely, isn’t it? Whether you get to spend your Friday night third-wheeling with your two friends who just happen to be in a relationship, or running out to Wal-Mart in order to start a fight over the last box of chocolates. Valentine’s Day is a romantic idea, but a horrific reality.

This is why shaming V-Day is a fantastic idea. The holiday is a great excuse to be reasonably (or unreasonably) bitter. After all, the saccharine sweetness of Thanksgiving, New Year’s, and especially Christmas can certainly drain a person. Everyone should have a bit of cynical fun now and then! Posting ironic statuses on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram lessons the cringe one feels every time his or her feed pops up with “[Insert name here] is in a relationship.”

Remember in first grade when your parents bought you valentines to hand out in class, and you really did not want to hand one to that smelly kid, but you did anyway? If you do not have a Valentine, you can take this opportunity to tell people how you really feel about them through the power of Valentines! Simply buy the coolest Valentines you can buy at Walmart (superheroes or Fun Dip packets are always a good choice), write humorous and honest things in the place of names and hand them out to people. Not only will they appreciate your hospitality and good spirit, but perhaps they will also start brushing their teeth more often.

Although it is advised against, another thing to do to alleviate the love is messing with other people. Write fake love letters to people and make them wonder. Give dirty looks to kissing couples until they feel so uncomfortable they leave so you can go back to doing your work. Wear your most ridiculous, clashing outfit of red and pink, because you’re fabulous. Rent out a study carrel for the day and get your friend to bang on the walls and make awkward noises. You could even try out your worst, most painful pick-up lines and hopefully not get slapped. There’s an unlimited number of things you can do to make Valentine’s Day feel like April Fool.

If none of these activities suit you, take a moment to step back and breathe. Who cares about Valentine’s Day anyway? Targeting your frustration, you can push yourself to get more work done, go to the gym, gain the confidence to go out and party or just stay home and watch a movie. It’s just a Friday, like any other day of the week; why should it get special treatment? Conversely, use the holiday to pamper your No. one: yourself. Someone has to do it, and getting caught up in stress is no way to spend any Friday night. Shaming Valentine’s Day can be great fun, but only if you are happy doing it.