Real Talk with Shelly and Ted

Dear Shelly and Ted,

Is it dangerous to get drunk and avoid calories by inserting tampons that are soaked in alcohol?

Signed,

Soaked in Shame

 

Dear Soaked in Shame,

First things first. We’re going to call this phenomenon butt-chugging for the purposes of this answer. Why? Because it’s funnier that way. You might be upset that I’m making a joke out of this serious issue, but that’s because it’s largely a myth. There are not many documented cases of people getting alcohol poisoning in this way – or doing it at all. Ladies, you know more about tampons than I do; picture trying to insert one into a vagina or anus while it’s soaked in liquor. Seem difficult? It is. As it turns out, a reporter tried it after these kinds of stories broke. She could only get about an ounce and a half into the tampon, had to mostly ring it out before trying, and then realized that putting alcohol directly on a delicate membrane burns awfully. When I did some research on butt-chugging via some sort of beer enema, I came across this headline, “Family of Pike butt chuggers refute the claims that anything was ever in anyone’s ass,” which made me giggle. Apparently that was a myth too. The fact is that if it were possible to do it right, this practice would likely kill you since the alcohol would go directly into your blood stream. Unfortunately, some people did try it when the media hyped it up, but failed miserably at catching a buzz.

– Ted

 

Dear Shelly and Ted,

Do flavored condoms give women yeast infections if they are used during sex?

Signed,

Dodging Infection

 

Dear Dodging Infection,

Flavored condoms are meant for oral sex on a man (or if the tip is cut off and you cut up the side, you can unroll and use it as a dam for oral sex on a woman or for oral to anal contact too). Flavored condoms, when used vaginally, can cause infection, as it changes the pH of the vagina.

If you have never had a yeast infection, please schedule an appointment to know for sure. It may be something else. Family Planning (on campus Thursdays from 8:30 a.m. – 4 p.m.) can be reached at 315-598-4790 or at Mary Walker Health Center can be reached at 315-312-4100.

Shelly

 

Dear Shelly and Ted,

My boyfriend ejaculated a yellowish colored sperm. At the time he was sick, but should I be concerned?

Signed,

Concerned Girlfriend

 

Dear Concerned Girlfriend,

Semen is typically thick and white, but a number of things can alter that (like how old they are, how often they ejaculate, etc.). If the trend continues for a week or more, or there are other symptoms such as a discharge/”drip” or painful urination, I would recommend that your boyfriend get in to a doctor to be checked out because something else may be going on.

– Shelly

 

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One thought on “Real Talk with Shelly and Ted

  1. Shelly & Ted,
    Do actual college-aged men and women really ask these questions, or do you come up with this crap yourself? Because I can’t see someone getting through the NYS required high school health curriculum without knowing most of this stuff.

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