America, we’re in a lot of trouble. Seriously, things aren’t looking good. Saturday was John Lennon’s 70th birthday, so I took a few minutes to reflect on his messages. I realized karma affects us instantaneously, we need to give peace a chance and somebody needs to give us some truth. I know it’s hard, sometimes it’s really hard, but we have to find a way to realize these things.
So how do we achieve these dreams? I know what you’re thinking, but following the Tea Party is not the answer, no matter how much they appeal to us, the working class heroes. And, although nobody told me this, I’m fairly certain our obsession with the TV show "Jersey Shore" isn’t helping. I found the answer: we have to go cold turkey on both of these things.
I know you’re sick and tired of hearing that, but you’ve never heard it from somebody who has a story that brings both together –that’s where I come in. I was an intern with the local minor league baseball team in the summer of 2009 and had to work during an event for a political rally of sorts; I was pretty isolated from the real world, so I didn’t know much about this group. It turns out this was a demonstration by a local Tea Party chapter and they were pretty keen on taking this whole government thing and starting it over.
They wanted a revolution, and it started with the destruction of taxes –apparently they weren’t paying attention in their middle school social studies classes and thought America was based on the notion of ‘no taxation with representation.’ Ironically, the rally was held in a county-owned, but privately operated, stadium, which meant this demonstration was the product of, and don’t let me lose you on this one, tax dollars.
Hold on, what does this have to do with the "Jersey Shore"? Well, I found myself spending most of my time socializing at the concession stand, where a girl named Nicole was working like a dog. Most of the employees at the concession stand, including Nicole, were products of the SUNY system –thanks Mr. Taxman. But that didn’t stop the rally participants from coming over and giving us advice, eloquently designed to enlighten us, about the dangers of taxes, and how our generation was only going to be hurt by these nonsensical fees. That led to the only conversation I ever shared with Nicole, who, unbeknownst to me, bought a ticket to ride down to Seaside Heights, where she was about to assume the name "Snooki" on MTV’s latest reality show. Our brief talk didn’t go very far, but we agreed that lectures we received that day were short-sighted and narrow-minded, if not downright hypocritical.
On that day, I found out what the Tea Party stood for, and it terrified me. They were taking their mysterious tour around the country, picking up confused and angry Americans at every stop, and were complaining about problems the government needed to address, but needed to do so while cutting taxes. They were crying because the government never gave them their money, but resented the government being allowed to collect funds. Indeed, that was a strange day, and even Snooki could realize it.
So please, my friends, just imagine the paradox they are trying to create. I say that we come together, turn off the television and adhere to the visions Lennon proposed with his music. We need these hard times to end and we need love, not anger, to guide our decisions. Or you could just completely disregard this entire message and go back to supporting them, because whatever gets you through the night is alright with me.