She Said – 3/5/10

They looked hot when you two first got together, but now he has put on 30 lbs. What’s with that? When we talk about people letting themselves go, most of the time we are talking about women. However, men also let themselves go sometimes. Either they get lazy, fat or just stop trying to be romantic and involved in the relationship. Maybe their idea of romance is sharing a six-pack with you, but you’d rather that they actually have six-pack abs to caress your fingers upon. If you haven’t let yourself go, and feel that they have, then read on for some advice.

First of all, you need to know and understand that you are not being shallow! Being sexually attracted to someone is very important in a healthy relationship, especially when you’re still young and in college. I’m not saying that old people don’t do it, cause they do (ew), but when you’re young, sex just seems more important. If guys expect you to keep up your appearance, then they should have to be fit as well.

Forget the double standard! I am so sick of men telling women they have to be perfect or no one will love them. Then they let themselves go, and like Peter Griffin on Family Guy said: "Men aren’t fat, only fat women are fat." It’s bull and we all know it. So stop letting them get away with it.

If you want your man to stop letting himself go, then tell him and be direct. Passiveness does not work with men. Too many of them don’t understand subtlety. If he isn’t romantic, then tell him he needs to be more romantic. If he’s gotten fat, tell him you’d like to work out with him. The fat issue is something maybe you shouldn’t be too direct with. After all, men can be sensitive too. The other stuff, however, like being romantic and not burping and farting all the time is something that you can be direct with.

If it’s an appearance issue, put pictures of him now up all around next to pictures when he was more attractive. Yeah, I know it sounds mean, but men are visual and if they see that they have changed for the worse than they might try to go back to the way they were.

There’s really not too much advice I can give on this topic. You really can’t change a person, and if they’ve let themselves go, then they’ve either stopped caring about themselves or about you. If you love Jabba the Hut, though, then stay with him and try to get him back in shape.