Valentine’s Day gifts go to the extreme

Valentine’s Day, a holiday destined for couples to remind them of their love for one another- and perhaps the loneliest day for singles- draws near. Dinner reservations at restaurants are made, and dates are set to see the latest chick flicks in nearby movie theaters. Inscriptions for notes attached to bouquets of flowers are spoken over the phone to employees at the local florists. Tradition also consists of purchasing stuffed animals and expensive boxes of chocolates, including flavors you never know you’ll get. Then there are the so-called innovative- and generally lame- gifts that have recently been advertised on Hallmark commercials.

The first gift that perhaps could be a waste of money is a card that records one’s voice. Someone opens the card (preferably either one in a loving relationship), and the recognizable voice of his or her special someone says, "I love you," or any other phrase they would like to record, out loud. First of all, it may be probable that the lofty price for this card is unremarkable. Secondly, would one be able to record over himself or herself should the jack hammer on the construction site across the street go off, or the next door neighbor rev up his snow blower?

The same goes for something even more nauseating- a stuffed animal that also records one’s voice to be played aloud- just give its plushy belly a squeeze. As if your sweetheart couldn’t tell you face-to-face or over the phone that he or she cherishes you. No, they need to spend money and have an inanimate, cotton-stuffed teddy bear play a recording of their voice every time pressure is exerted onto its body. Also, suppose your relationship with your loving companion goes awry. Would it be the garbage disposal for Mr. Teddy (and however many dollars was spent for it), or would the insipid voice of the one you once loved fill the silence with every squeeze?

Valentine’s Day is a day dedicated to love. People may write (or record) phony phrases on cards, or purchase large bouquets of flowers and stuffed animals. Then again, there could be no use of these. Saying "I love you" can be just as valuable as a $100 diamond necklace, and more meaningful than pouring out your feelings (not to mention cash) on a decorative card. Real love doesn’t come wrapped in pink paper, nor is it stuffed with cotton and a miniature recording device. What makes love so precious is simply that it cannot be seen nor touched. How’s that for a Hallmark card?