He Said – 2/12/10

"Oh my god, baby, that was amazing. How was it for you?" If you answer this question with, Eh, it was all right I guess, something is wrong with your sex life.

When you’re having sex, you should be enjoying yourself, not wondering when its finally going to be over so that you could go off and watch the highlights on ESPN.

Remember when you were walking through the campus center and you saw that girl? You thought, "damn!" You put all that hard work into getting her number, texting each other and trying to impress her during every waking moment.

Then finally, that moment comes when she takes you back to her room to um, play Twister. Except that the game of Twister ended up being a bust because she wasn’t really good at finding the right green. Well isn’t it annoying when that happens? And no, this isn’t an article about family games.

After the event is done and over with, you don’t even feel like looking at the girl. It immediately went from her being this awesome girl and you always having a big smile on your face to nothing but a face full of disappointment. I don’t care who you are, you could be the best looking girl in the world, but if you’re bad at pleasing your man then you lose almost all your sexual appeal. Its like having a 2010 Mercedes with a driver who doesn’t know how to drive stick.

If you are currently with someone who is bad in bed, then you have two choices to make. First angle you could take would be to simply just up and leave them. Text, phone call, face to face, or while you’re standing with the next girl you’re already having sex with. I don’t care, I don’t judge.

If that angle doesn’t work for you and you feel as though that may be a little heartless, then you could take the high road and work with that person on their sex prowess. You never know, it could end up being the best choice you’ve could have ever made in your life. After some careful instruction and technique adjustments, it might end up being the best sex you’ve ever had. I’m serious, with just a few tweaks, you could create a sex goddess. And ladies, don’t be afraid to call me up. I might offer my services too.