The Oswegonian

The Independent Student Newspaper of Oswego State

DATE

Apr. 20, 2024 

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In The Office – ‘Rock Band 2’ a source for many laughs

This "In the Office" will not be profound or educational in the least. This article is strictly for entertainment purposes only.

As a result, I am going to write about the widely popular video game, "Rock Band 2." This is a video game distributed by Harmonix where you play with "Fisher Price" versions of musical instruments. Oh, you thought I was one of those hardcore gamers who is mildly obsessed with this musical game, didn’t you? Well, you thought wrong. Maybe I would be, but just when you learn to play a song on medium, you then find out a harder setting exists, and it uses the previously unused "orange" button.

If you have never had the joy of using the "orange" button, I don’t recommend it. You have to use your atrophied pinky finger, which now functions more as a shrimp then a finger. Now, yes, I do know that you can shift your hand and use your index finger, but that feels horrible and as unnatural as that two-headed fetal pig I dissected in high school. [Editor’s note – Randy did not dissect a two-headed fetal pig in high school.]

Playing the guitar is not the only instrument that is available: You also have the drums. The drums are a unique experience in themselves and are at least passably close to actual drums, which essentially means that kids today want to get as close as possible to learning an actual instrument, but would rather vegetate in front of the TV with a fake one.

This, however, doesn’t mean you still won’t look and act like a fool when you are in the moment on those drums. Oh, and the foot pedal. The harsh mistress that is the foot pedal. It is like the orange key on the guitar and you will rapidly begin to hate your lack of reflexes, especially if you have a friend near you who is doing much better then you.

Finally if you are "blessed" with someone who can sing, or someone who, after enough alcohol thinks they can sing, you are then treated to some truly awful karaoke. You see, "Rock Band 2" is unable to understand the words you are singing, it only understands tones and tempo, so songs that they don’t know become grunts and drawn out sounds. If the original artists of the songs are dead, they will roll in their graves and if they are still alive they will find you just to slap you.

While I enjoy making fun of "Rock Band 2," I do enjoy playing it with friends that have little regard of how they look or sound as long as they are having fun. So if you have the opportunity, gather up your favorite group of friends, and perhaps some alcohol, and have a good time.